Thought Trap #3: Mental filter

Speak Schmeak

Thought Trap #3: Mental Filter You pick a single negative detail and obsess on it so that your vision of reality becomes blocked, like blinders on a horse. In situations with both positive and negative aspects, you dwell on the latter. But you get one negative evaluation, and that's all you think about. Identify your negative emotions. Identify the negative thoughts tied to your emotions. Continuing on in the series on thought traps.

2008 100

Are you misleading your audience with your titles?

Speak Schmeak

In that instance, I had a client who had gotten quite a few negative evaluations after her conference seminar. When I analyzed her evaluations, I noticed that many of the negative comments were from audience members who had come expecting a different seminar. I got an e-mail from Skype a while back with the subject line "5 great ways to use Skype." This sounded promising, so I opened it.

2012 163

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Would people tell you if you sucked?

Speak Schmeak

Anonymous evaluations If you've never had your audience fill out evaluations, they're worth giving out now and then. It's easy to dwell on the one or two low scores or negative comments out of 100, so don't take it too personally, but look at the evaluation as an opportunity to tailor your presentation even more to what the audience is looking for. Here's a compilation of responses from speakers about how they deal with a negative evaluation.

2011 170

TGIF, Negativity, and Optimism

The Communication Blog

It could have been lots of things: a cliché response that one says on Friday rather mindlessly, an expression of relief that the work week is over, a negative evaluation of life at work, or perhaps a comment to assure me that he had a life beyond work. It conveys a negativity that is just not productive and not what employers are looking for. I didn’t care how much money they brought in because negativity kills optimism and belief in the future.”.

How do You Handle the Haters?

Speaker Launcher

But awhile back one of my audience members was sending me some pretty negative vibes. If you get a negative evaluation, look for a lesson in the criticism, if there is none, move on. You look over in the middle of your speech and notice someone who has their arms folded and a major scowl on their face. What do you do? I call these “haters&#.

2011 62

Would people tell you if you sucked?

Speak Schmeak

Anonymous evaluations If you've never had your audience fill out evaluations, they're worth giving out now and then. It's easy to dwell on the one or two low scores or negative comments out of 100, so don't take it too personally, but look at the evaluation as an opportunity to tailor your presentation even more to what the audience is looking for. Here's a compilation of responses from speakers about how they deal with a negative evaluation.

2011 109

Communication Strategies: How to avoid sexist talk

The Communication Blog

Lady is negatively evaluated by many because it connotes the stereotype of the prim and proper woman. Although non-sexist language is becoming the norm, it may help to review some of the major issues and guidelines involved in avoiding sexist talk. These may be especially helpful to those for whom English is a second language. Individual sexism consists of prejudicial attitudes and beliefs about men or women based on rigid beliefs about gender roles.

2011 116

5 ways to stop repeating the same mistakes

Speak Schmeak

But you also have to evaluate yourself honestly and find ways to build on the skills you already have and keep improving, or else you will stagnate. Use anonymous evaluations There are differing opinions on evaluations , and I've gone back and forth on the practice myself. Here's a great compilation of responses on SpeakerNet News on how to handle negative evaluations.)

2009 122

Speaking Science: Why do I blush at the start of a speech?

The Eloquent Woman

The goal of cognitive behavioral therapy, sometimes called CBT, is to change patterns of inaccurate or negative thinking so that a person can respond more effectively to challenges. During the Dutch training we use the flash card Negeer en concentreer , which roughly means 'ignore'--the blush or your ideas about a negative evaluation--and 'concentrate'--on the task at hand, which implies an outward instead of inward focus."

2017 55

Three bad handshakes to avoid

Speak Schmeak

We found that men had firmer handshakes than women did, on average, but we also found that women who had firm handshakes tended to be evaluated as positively as men are. We thought this finding was interesting because often when women have characteristics that are more similar to men, they tend to elicit a somewhat more negative evaluation — simply because it’s counter to the usual stereotypes.' Download audio here.

2010 100

Communication Strategies: Listening Choices

The Communication Blog

Listening involves receiving, understanding, remembering, evaluating, and responding to what a person means as well as what a person is feeling. Your attitudes may lead you to distort messages—to block out positive messages about a foe and negative messages about a friend. Only after you’ve fully understood the relevant messages should you evaluate or judge. Avoid both positive and negative evaluation until you have a reasonably complete understanding.

Margaret Thatcher and the evolution of charismatic woman: Part I. Cultural and vocal challenges

Max Atkinson

The fact that the sound of a woman raising her voice is more likely to be negatively evaluated as ‘shrill' or 'screeching' is probably at the heart of a source of irritation that’s familiar to many professional women, namely the tendency of male colleagues to accuse them of 'overreacting' whenever they become involved in arguments.

2009 67

On the death of Margaret Thatcher: notes on the evolution of charismatic woman

Max Atkinson

The fact that the sound of a woman raising her voice is more likely to be negatively evaluated as ‘shrill'' or ''screeching'' is probably at the heart of a source of irritation that’s familiar to many professional women, namely the tendency of male colleagues to accuse them of ''overreacting'' whenever they become involved in arguments.

2013 66